Bingo Bango Bongo
by Kariko Emma
Summary: A simple game of Bingo is much more than you might think to a small group of ninja.


**Bingo Bango Bongo**

.

.**  
><strong>

**Author's Note:** Originally inspired by the cover of chapter 311. Seriously, what _are_ all those notes and things? Seriously! Long ago, this began as a serious fic during the timeskip, now, it ends a slapstick one. Hope it makes you laugh. Genma is a happy genius. (D.N.F. is _Do not forget, _fyi. Dickens humor there.)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Naruto. Thank you ff dot net.

**(****Rated:** Only for small bits of language.)

**Genre:** Humor, definitely.

.

.

.

.

.

.

It's a joke:

_You owe me thirty dollars_ –Ten.

Don't you DARE try the mask—or the sheets. He breathes fire. Seriously. ASUMA

_(Am I the only well-wisher?) Come back to us soon, Kurenai_

BINGO BANGO BONGO! –GENMA

Um, get well, _Anko_

You forgot to turn your calendar –IBIKI

_Get well soon; or else-ha, j/k,_ Iruka

BINGO BANGO BONGO!

Warning: even if you don't think he's listening, he is. He really, freakishly is. Word to the wise. 200, 200. End the suspense already, would you? –Maito Gai

_Senpai, come back to us._ Yuu.

_You won the lottery…__so I claimed your prize. Hope you don't mind_. GODAIME.

Sensei, please get well. _Sakura_

…BINGO BANGO BONGO! SANDAIME

_Genma, leave one more and I'll find a way to screw you._ GODAIME.

At least I don't steal from people…UNKNOWN.

_Dear _UNKNOWN, _you could make a business if Kakashi were like this all the time._ Signed, SUCCESSFUL.

_…You still owe me thirty dollars…_Ten. _Come back._ BINGO BANGO BONGO. _What the heck, I didn't write that…_

BINGO BANGO BONGO—_D.N.F_.

D.N.F. Kakashi finally awoke. He read all of the other notes individually. Even the one from Sandaime. It was always a heartened display spread out on cork board, from his friends. He collected each one. Saved them. (Woo-boy he had a lot, ha ha.) And he wrote on the others in return. It was all a grand web of thoughtful, friendly words of encouragement when one was so cruelly locked up as a convalescent in medical white. But, it was just a little joke.

Bingo Bango Bongo…was not.

Kakashi found his playing card, far from the eyes of Godaime, for sure. The fifth line was the last empty row on his sheet. He grabbed the pen the others had used to write the notes above his head and wrote down his numbers carefully in the five boxes: Seven. Umm… Kakashi looked over himself and thought, Nine…teen. Sixteen. He always took a best guess on this part: Forty. Eighty.

Once he was recovered enough, he received his summons from Asuma, who spoke of it in the utmost secrecy, away from Kurenai and the Hokage's Tower and Godaime, for sure. And so with the utmost stealth and nonchalance, Hatake Kakashi waltzed into the building X, room Y.

It was a game. Here were the rules:

B is for the number of enemies you encountered. (Clients DON'T count.)

I is for the number of injuries you sustained.

N is for the rank of mission (using the afore-agreed upon scale of 1 to 23.)

G is for the number of jutsu issued by yourself.

O is for the total number of hours spent traveling.

1. There shall be five columns, and five rows, with a free space in the center of the center column. You must fill each line horizontally per mission one by one as accurately as possible.

2. When your card is filled, drop the agreed amount of money in the bin with the seal located in building X, room Y, closet Z.

3. A summons will be issued by the current game official instructing you to come to building X, room Y, closet Z at a pre-determined time.

4. Random numbers between 0 and 222 will be called by the game official from the game box. Random numbers B, I, N, G, and O shall also be called.

5. First ninja to one Bingo (vertical, horizontal, or diagonal) wins the low pot. First ninja to three Bingos (vertical, horizontal, or diagonal) must yell 'Bingo Bango Bongo' and wins the high pot.

"Got it all filled, finally. We were waiting on you."

"Ah—sorry it's late. Am I late?"

Genma looked at the clock, "You're always late. Take a seat. Asuma?"

He nodded, smoked his cigarette, and turned the enclosed hamster wheel. "First letter and number of the night, I, 20."

"Ah crap. I have twenty-one." said Genma.

"Twenty-one?" said Raidou in disbelief, "How the heck did you even get _that_ many? You were a _courier_ last week."

Mitarashi Anko (the only female of the group, had most unyieldingly wiggled the secret out of Tatami Iwashi, which snuffed out the popular bet of Aoba accidentally telling her) laughed. She had become one of the fiercest competitors.

"I don't believe any of us ruled out _thorns_ as injuries. I swear to God—" Genma defended himself at the sudden uproar, "—I was picking them out for a _week!_"

"Ah come on, I had mental stress last week, can't I count that!" wailed Raidou even though he knew the rule.

"No no," moderated Asuma, "Mental stress does _not_ count," he puffed, "But thorns?"

Genma leaned back, crossing his arms, "Next time _you_ try delivering to the fire daimyo's daughter. I swear to God she doesn't want anybody getting in save the bees."

"The bees know…" muttered Kotetsu.

"…Huh?" said Izumo.

"The bees," Hagane Kotetsu looked at him. "Know."

"What the hell?" said Izumo.

"…Never mind."

"The next letter and number: O, 9."

The group groaned.

"B, 14."

"Yee-hoo!" said Tenzou. "Got one!"

Asuma marked his own card, "Me too. Okay. Next. Ha ha—" he started to laugh, "Kakashi, now you might have this one, I, 73."

Kakashi looked at his card. "I have an I, 63, but not 73."

The group stared.

"…What?" Kakashi looked at them.

Asuma chuckled, "O, 100."

"Yee-HOO again!" said Tenzou.

The group glared.

"N, 2."

"…"

"Didn't think so," said Asuma. "O again, 57."

"Aw shucks," said Kotetsu. "One off."

"Two off," Anko sneered. "Hey spin that wheel again."

"Hey if you want to be the next game's official, we'll vote you in," said Genma. "It's not a fun job."

She stuck out her tongue.

"B, 41."

"…"

"G, 33."

"Whoopie!" Anko exclaimed.

"I'm close to a Bingo…!" Tenzou bobbed his head over his card. "What do you know…!"

Anko, who was sitting ahead of him looked behind, "Gaah!" she scoffed.

"Eh, we'll catch 'em in the long run," said Genma.

"N, 17."

Tenzou could not believe his luck. "One more!" he murmured aloud. But both Izumo and Kotetsu also had the number by chance.

"B, 7."

Kakashi marked his card.

"G, 40."

Kakashi marked his card again.

"I, 19."

Kakashi marked his card _again_.

As did Asuma and Aoba.

Mitarashi Anko sneered, watching the men with a wild dark violet eye. "One off."

"I, again, 30."

"…"

"N, 16."

Kakashi marked his card.

Asuma reached in the moving vat again. "O…80."

"Well what do you know—Bingo."

Ten ninja (including Asuma) stared at the copy nin.

"…Bingo?" Kakashi hoped to clarify, but his voice didn't sound convincing enough.

"…Figures…" Genma snickered.

Kakashi smiled apologetically in his odd way.

Tenzou, however, watched Hatake Kakashi approach the desk, show his card to Asuma, and collect the prize—Tenzou maintained his gaze: _that money is mine_ his large dark eyeballs read.

Kakashi sat down. The image of those menacing eyes from his junior were burning inside his brain. The copy nin had a sudden thought: _I wonder if Shodaime was like that._

"O…27," Asuma announced after the majority of eyeballs returned to the hamster wheel.

"YES!" Anko struck a bit of gold.

"G, 60."

"…"

The numbers and letters rolled on for two hours. Pulled out of some twisted stew, several 'Bingos' manifested rather quickly, Anko, Tenzou, Kotetsu, Genma, Raidou, and the others. Tenzou no doubt was the first to reach two. Of course the bees knew that, but were not inclined to speak of such things. The night road on slowly, strangely, even precariously at times. Soon Asuma's smoke permeated into every corner of building X's room Y, even seeping a little into closet Z. The gnarly spice gnawed the air and every turn of the wheel. Then, all of a giant sudden, just as Anko was biting into her pencil hungrily, the shout was heard from room Y and went thus:

"BINGO BANGO BONGO!"

Tenzou cleaned up.

.

"So, how much money are you left with exactly?"

Most of them had gone. Either to get drunk or go home. Or go on another mission.

"Well…I was able to talk him into letting me keep half. I have fifteen dollars."

"Wow you're rich," Asuma smiled, smoking a new cigarette.

"Yeah, whatcha gonna do with all that?" chuckled Genma with his arms folded, leaning on the wooden desk. The senbon in his mouth was less askew than his posture.

"Perhaps you might invest it in the Intelligence division," said a severe, deep voice poking in the door from the hallway. A finger pointing to this large head appeared in the doorway too, belonging to Mitarashi Anko whose look alone told them: "I DIDN'T LET HIM IN, HE FOUND HIS OWN WAY HERE, DON'T KILL ME."

"OH MY GOD WE'RE IN DEEP SHIT." said the collective faces of the three men collectively, who collectively straightened like boards in room Y.

Morino Ibiki looked around the room. Disguise seals. Transparency stickers. A dusty floor. Tables, desks, and chairs. A hamster wheel filled with precarious symbols in front of a black board. Pencils. Paper. Yep. This was the place. "Do you mind telling me what goes on in here?" he said.

Genma held his head up, "Bingo…"

"…Bango." Asuma added.

"…Bongo." Kakashi supplied.

"So that's it…" Ibiki understood. "And you bet with money don't you."

"…Yes…" said Genma.

"…Ten bucks." Asuma added.

"…Per person." Kakashi supplied.

"…Per month." explained Anko, who took a step backwards when Ibiki looked at her.

"You do this twelve times out of the year."

"We take a break in December…" said Genma.

"…Yeah," said Asuma.

"Nn," muttered Kakashi.

"What he said," Anko shrugged.

"And how many people?"

"…Ten."

"…It _was_ eleven…" added Asuma.

"…When Hayate was…" Kakashi wandered.

Anko pursed her lips, slinking away—"You are not excused," Ibiki said. And he seemed to recoil his own position slightly from this very interesting scene. For he folded his arms, which of course each of the ninja there knew he did only when he was considering something very seriously. It was either that or he was waiting impatiently for a report from one of his juniors again. "So, it's been going on for years then."

"…Maybe…" said Genma hesitantly.

"…Yes," Asuma confirmed.

Kakashi nodded his head once, looking at the back wall.

"I…am…a…new…member…" said Anko for Ibiki's information. She knew how much he digged info, but this kind did not come over well. (Of course the bees knew that.) A rather sinister stare issued out from Ibiki's small, beady dark eyes, as he dropped them now over Genma's thin frame, "I had hoped to discover you. I wasn't sure I would. I will keep your secret for 20 percent."

Kakashi, Asuma, and Anko immediately looked at Genma to see what he would do at this outrageous offer. And it was scandalous and outrageous of the highest sort. It was appalling. "…Done," Genma looked him firm in the eyes. They nodded to each other civilly.

"Then I am done here," Ibiki left.

"WHY the [expletive] did you do THAT!" Anko raged once the man was out of earshot.

"Because it was a damn good deal."

"You couldn't argue to fifteen, at least?" Kakashi too was in a bit of shock.

"Yeah! What the _hell!_" said Asuma.

"Do you _honestly_ think Ibiki would have gone to 10? Hell. No." Genma turned his chin over in the direction of the wheel sullenly.

"Well…" Asuma shrugged.

"Mm…" Kakashi murmured.

"Yeah…" Anko sighed; her shoulders sagged. "Too bad Ibiki wouldn't have joined. Ha. I bet he'd clean up every month like Tenzou does. Ha."

"I think he already is going to begin cleaning up every month," Kakashi informed her lowly.

Anko stared. Finally (honestly her stance was blank for quite some time in the buzzing silence), but finally she looked off in the direction the one-time proctor had gone, "You_ cheap_ son of_ a_ ..." Rolling up her sleeves angrily, she marched outside.

The men smiled, and at the same time, looked a little forlorn.

.

_Hey captain. I see you. Get well!_ –Ten

Don't try him. I'm warning you. He breathes fire. –ASUMA Seriously. I'm being serious.

_Don't mind Asuma. It's all just a joke, ha ha! Get well soon, Kurenai_

BINGO BANGO BONGO –GENMA [This was actually stuck on Kakashi's forehead this time. Not with a tack of course. That would have hurt.]

What the heck, you're in here _again?_= P Anko

Bingo Bango Bongo –IBIKI

_Kakashi! You were _just_ in _here!_ Get well…_ -Iruka

BING-GO BANG-GO BONG-_O_!

Ah Kya-kya-shi. Training too hard again. You must catch up! Looking forward to your new skills. Test them at your convenience. Just let me know. –Maito Gai. 215, 216. Make it even why don't you. I dare you.

_Senpai, seriously. Take care of yourself,_ Yuu.

_Good Lord. I have never seen anybody in here so much as you! QUIT GIVING ME SOMETHING TO DO._ –GODAIME.

Sensei, please get well…_Sakura_

BINGO BANGO BONGO –SHODAIME

_Genma, I know that's you. –_GODAIME

BINGO BANGO BONGO –TUXEDO MASK

_Dear _TUXEDO MASK, _FIND SOMETHING TO DO FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. _signed, GODAIME

_In here again? Come back!_ –Ten BONGO BONGO BINGO BANGO BONGO! _What the heck, I did not write that…_

BINGO, BANGO, BONGO! D.N.F.!

.

.

.

.

_-Caliko_


End file.
